is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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