i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize