There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
