Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
