'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
