I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
