I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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