but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
sarcasm needs its own font
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
