the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
