im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
