just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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