So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My ass is underappreciated
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
