I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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