i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
