I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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