cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
