i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
