they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
that is very illegal...i love you.
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