I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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