I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
