i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
