It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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