Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize