then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
