You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
