just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
