she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So here I am, sexting at work.
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