Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
