I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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