mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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