So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
wow bdsm is so cute
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