forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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