it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So squirting runs in the family.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
