so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
