just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
