so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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