Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
