We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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