It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
