I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
