:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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