Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They took my balls.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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