He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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