I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
