how can u be prego again
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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