He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
