You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
