I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
