I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
