We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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