How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
