this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
