So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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