you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize