my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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