We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
