Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
