You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
