She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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