I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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