Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
