My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize