i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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